F-14...

Okay, so in honor of this wonderfully horrible holiday, my roommate and I have decided to celebrate Valentine's Day by having F-14 day (you are free to join in the festivities at your respective place of residence)! To commemorate such an event, we will not be angry women wearing black and protesting Valentine's Day. We will not begrudge all the people out there who have cause to celebrate the real holiday. In fact, we both love Valentine's Day... it's just that at this point in our lives, our valentines have something in common.... They are our parents! And while I love my parents and I love my annual valentine's gift from them which was two-fold this year (a set of pearl earrings and a Hurricane Katrina bracelet), let's be real... parents are not meant to be your valentine's.

Therefore, I dont think it would be right for us to celebrate Valentine's Day and so we must make our own alternative, kinda like what racists do instead of celebrating Martin Luther King Jr. Day... doesnt apply to them, so they find an alternative. Our alternative, notwithstanding the disturbing racist analogy, will be properly known as F-14! What the F stands for is up to your interpretation... we have multiple meanings which you probably dont want to know and would eliminate one of my ideals for this blog which is fake anonymity for people in my life. Damn, I probably gave away one of the meanings there, ahh well.. shit happens.

Anyway, if you are to celebrate this illustrius holiday, you must dress in pjs after the sunsets, eat a great meal, eat lots and lots of homeade cookies and milk (pilsbury doughboy will sufffice as homeade since it is baked in the oven), watch movies all night and thoroughly enjoy the singleness of your life.

Okay, now go on... go spread the joy of F-14!!!! I guarantee someone will thank you for it.

Note: This message does not apply to guys who are actually in relationships and trying to get over on not doing something for Valentine's Day. Doesnt work that way, buddy. In fact, according to my blog and Redenvelope.com you should have already planned out your valentine's evening 3 weeks ago.