I'm a Hypocrite...

And guess what? Chances are, so are you... (sorry I had to be the one to say it, but oh well).

Let's see, Is it right that I am more offended by Michael Richard's use of the word nigger than by Lil Wayne's? Is it right that Imus' comments offended me in a way that UGK and and Lil Kim never did? Probably not, but it's the truth.

Shoot, I've even analyzed hip-hop music with my teenagers during the day and come back home to listen to Tupac at night. So go ahead and say it. I know you want to. I'm a hypocrite... But arent you too? Isn't there something that just boils you coming from one person and not from another? I know I've heard people say many times "don't talk about my family," and then turn around and talk about their family. So really, if we're all honest to ourselves, we'll admit it's there in us all.

Heck, even the ever amazing Oprah is one (I know, I'm now going to be put on some crazy list, lol)... but Ms. Thang herself certainly was leaning and rockin with it on her show Thursday, April 12th. Now maybe she was listening to the radio version, but uhhh, there's definitely usage of the words ho, nigga, and bitch in the song. I'm not discrediting her, just pointing out how we're all hypocrites and music makes it that much easier to be one.

So that being said; that's not really the point. And I wish people would stop trying to make it that. And while I applaud this sudden urge by the mainstream media to make the rappers accountable for their actions, I'm still torn as I think most people my age are who have grown up with rap but are even slightly intelligent enough to be a discerning listener when we want to.

I watched the Oprah Show (at 1:15 am, mind you because I was at work for the original airings) and 2 quotes struck me for 2 very different reasons.

Dr. Robin in the first show:

According to Dr. Robin, the acceptance of racism and sexism is kind of like having garbage for dinner every day. "At first it tastes awful, it stinks, it makes you sick," she says. "But when you have it long enough, and I serve it to you well enough and sometimes even dress it up with pretty plates and fine linen, it begins to trick your mind and your spirit and make you think that, that which is toxic and poison actually starts to taste okay."

Common (the rapper) in the 2nd show:

"Hip-hop has been this child that we had. Our elders kind of abandoned the child at a young age and said, 'Okay, we don't really understand this. We don't relate to this,'" he says. "And now as hip-hop has evolved and grown up, our parents are expecting hip-hop to be perfect and to be right."

Does anyone else notice the divide here? Well, I'm stuck somewhere in the middle. I'm from the South, so I grew up listening to booty-shaking, calling out dances, bounce music. But I'm also an intelligent black woman who believes she and her sisters are beautiful. So where's the disconnect? How is it that I can jam to Slob On My Knob by Three Six Mafia and then get mad when I see these kids from TX rapping and saying niggas, hoes, etc... on Crunk and Disorderly's website. Honestly, I dont know. Maybe it's something I need to work on personally, but I have a feeling that it's not just me and that women all around this country/ world are having the same dilemma.

Here are some things I do know though:

1. Don Imus was a journalist. Call him a shock jock if you want, whatever... He was a journalist. Because he spoke on news topics and had influential politicians on his show. And speaking as a journalist, you are held to a higher standard than a rapper or entertainer. You just are. So while I dont necessarily think he's a racist, I do think he deserved to get fired, because he crossed the standard of news journalism.

2. I do believe he had the right to say what what he wanted-- free speech and all, and CBS/ NBC had the right to fire him for it. When you speak like an idiot, you have the right to be fired for it.

3. Hip-Hop is to blame for it. But it's not just hip-hop/ rap music. And its not something thats new either; misogyny has been engrained in American culture for decades. Therefore, going after the rappers is fine, but you can't stop there. You must go all the way. And it has to be women that spearhead the movement.

4. Part of the problem is that there actually are women who are hoes. Let's be real. We all know them, and we may not have used the exact wording, but we've said something comparable to our friends. So when the rappers say that they are not talking about all women when they say ho or bitch, I think they believe that themselves. And that's part of the reason they are attempting to answer back so passionately (I stress attempting, because Lord knows some of these men can't put together a SENTENCE!). Because call me naive, but I think they really feel like they are making the distinction.

The reality is that they are not. But we as women are so used to being assumed as a sexual object, that we make provisions to go above and beyond to counter it and it's not even thought of as a problem really (not on a daily basis)... it's just what you do... Sorta like how most black people are taught that you have to be twice as good as the "next person" to get the job. You deal with it and go and work to prove they're not talking about you.

5. Lastly, a large part of this stems from "our" community's push to make hip-hop a culture or something similar to the Civil Rights Movement. I'm sorry, but it's not that. Yes, it is a form of expression that has grown into a way of life for people and influences the way you dress, carry yourself, define yourself, etc... BUT it's an entertainment movement/ culture at best. We as black people are so eager to have some sort of culture to define ourselves (since most of us don't know our real backgrounds) that we've taken something that's entertainment, put it up on a pedestal, and keep being shocked every time it falls off and shatters into pieces.

Think about it for a second. Do you hear the same cries for change in R&B, rock/roll, jazz, movies, etc, when there very well could be??? No, because it is assumed they don't carry the same weight as rap music. But surprise, surprise, rap is in the same genre.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't still hold rappers and more importantly labels accountable for what they put out, because part of me thinks we should. Unfortunately, I've seen the effects it has on kids who weren't reminded by their parents that this is entertainment, not life... and not told what a WOMAN should act like. But maybe if we worked to put family, parents, teachers, and others in the black community on a pedestal, I could listen to Get Ready by DJ Jubilee and not feel like I'm betraying women all around. Dang, can a sista listen to some bounce music without feeling guilty?!?!

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still signing out, "I am so so New Orlains, like 1825 Tulane!" Sorry ladies, I love me some Weezy F. Baby; y'all are gonna have to take that one for the team... LOL