Happily Ever After...

Sooo, a couple days ago, I was sitting in my presidential electoral politics class and we were discussing the fact that southern women overwhelmingly voted for Bush in 2004, in direct contrast to non-southern women. The thing is, contrary to popular belief, these were not soccer moms turned security moms... these were women my age, young women without children who voted for Bush! So there we sat in class trying to figure out what the differences were between southern and non-southern women as far as identity and what issues mattered most to them.

Well, go figure... it turned out that I was not only the only black girl in the class, but also the only southern woman in the class... so in unison, everyone looked to me for an answer. And honestly, I was stuck! I sat there, really going over in my head, trying to think of something to say that would be profound, not a generalization, and give southern women some credit... and the best I could come up with was, "well, I think maybe we're more old-fashioned and a little more traditional in mindset in the sense that we care about careers but it might be more important to establish family first, than to be this independent woman doing her thang!"

And then it struck me, as much as I love my southern background and I embrace my old fashioned ideas like a woman should know how to cook, a man should open the door and walk on the outside of the sidewalk or street, I'm not really a southern woman in the truest sense anymore... or at least not in sticking with the definition I gave the class. Now, this is SOOO not to say that there are no southern women who are career ambitious or anything like that, but when I look at my friends who stayed home or stayed in the south when going to college, most of them are either engaged or married and the ones that aren't, are in very serious committed relationships, so really, it's only a matter of time.

But when I look at my girls up here (and this means more than just DC), I dont see the same thing. I see beautiful women who would be great catches for any guy, but they have no man or the man they have isnt worth shit! (sorry girls) What DO they have? Great careers or great ambitions for careers... they're on track to being the shit in whatever industry they are in (non-profit, business, communications... you name it) and they're happy... to a certain extent.

They're happy because they're doing what they went to school for or they're working their way through this really complicated field, but at the same time, when it gets real late, maybe they've had a couple drinks or it's girls' night and time to be real honest and truthful, you can see the sadness... because, really everyone wants that someone to share in the success with them. If you dont have that, then what's it worth... I mean, really??? Now granted, we're not 40 year old women who havent found a man... we're under 25 and still working on ourselves. But when I can look at the disparity between my friends down south who were happily married at 22 and who are working on their first kid now... it kinda makes you wonder, who has it right?

Or more importantly, can you not have both? In this day and age, how likely is it to be a succesful woman in your career and have a man that you want to give your all to right by your side? I mean, sure we can all name examples, but isnt that the point... when you can name them, that means it stands out... these women have become the exception... not the rule.

Just a little something I've been thinking about...